This is Jym Starelong. With his trusty, flexible, baseball bat, he assaults innocent, hard working game developers! In addition to his weapon, he also comes packaged with two mystery objects. What do they do? Nobody knows! Maybe combine the mystery objects with other things and find a use for them!
He always hated stock assets, attacking innocent game developers who did nothing wrong becase he's 'Jym pheasant-plucking Starelong, child!' but one day, it all changed... this... is his story...
Jym Starelong waited. The Steam Greenlights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were stock assets on Steam Greenlight. He didn't see them, but had expected them for years. His warnings to Gaben were not listened to and it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Jym was a reviewer for fourteen years. When he was young, he watched the game reviews and said to his creepy uncle 'I want to be on the reviews uncle.'
His creepy old uncle said 'No! You will BE KILL BY STOCK ASSETS'
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the Steam Greenlight of Valve he knew there were stock assets.
'This is Gaben' the internet crackered. 'You must review the stock assets!'
So Jym gotted his floppy baseball bat and blew up the wall.
'HE GOING TO KILL US!' said the stock assets 'I will shoot at him' said the Horrid Spider and he fired the rocket missiles. Jym batted at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
'No! I must review the stock assets' he shouted The internet said 'No, Jym. You are the stock assets'
And then Jym was a Unity asset.